Patrick, I'm Scared
by Loulouberry
Summary: SPOILERS Series 6 Ep 3! There was a few gaps I wanted to fill in! Love these characters! I've not yet decided whether to carry on with this! All Reviews welcome!
1. Chapter 1

Spoilers for series 6 episode 3. All credits go to Heidi Thomas McGann, Stephen McGann an Laura Main for these amazing characters.

Ever since leaving the Order Shelagh had longed for a child. She loved Timothy as if he was her own but she wanted that experience of carrying a child.

When she had been told she couldn't have children she had been devastated.

After adopting Angela everything just seemed to fall into place. She felt as though she couldn't love a child anymore even if she had carried her for nine months.

A couple of weeks after they had come back from South Africa, Shelagh had realised her period was late but she never thought anything of it. Her cycle had never been completely regular since the TB.

It wasn't until weeks later when other symptoms started to show themselves. Her breasts were tender, she had light cramping and she seemed to always be tired. Something else which was starting to become a problem was the nausea. Breakfasts had become impossible. She tried so hard to hide it from Patrick, there was no point in worrying him.

After being told all those years ago that it would be very unlikely that she would conceive because of scarring throughout her pelvic organs, she had let go of the dream to carry a child.

Being a midwife she knew what all these symptoms were telling her but she didn't want to get her hopes up.

She snuck a test in with the others at the surgery for them to be sent off to the London and got Patrick to sign the form without him even noticing.

When the test results came back a couple of weeks later she couldn't believe the result.

Shelagh Turner was pregnant!

She confided in Sister Julienne. The woman had been like a mother to her ever since she joined the Order and their relationship was still as strong as ever.

Shelagh was so scared. Being a Midwife and pregnant were two things that didn't go together very well. Shelagh's mind was constantly filled with everything that could possibly go wrong.

It took her a while to decide on how to tell Patrick. She never thought she would get to do this. Looking down at her engagement ring she came up with the perfect way to tell him.

They were alone in the surgery together when Shelagh had given him a note from her and someone else just like he had given to her only years previous.

He was just as shocked about the whole thing as she was, but he couldn't have been happier.

Their love for each other is so strong. They stayed in their bubble of happiness for a few weeks until it was suddenly popped when they got the news they were going to be inspected.

In the days leading up to inspection things were very stressful. Shelagh had spent that last few days alone in the maternity home ran off her feet, which Patrick was not happy about and soon made himself vocal to Sister Ursula.

Shelagh's uniform had become too tight as her bump was starting to make an appearance.

Both Shelagh and Patrick were sat in their living room while she let out her uniform and he typed up everything ready for the inspection.

Things were very tense.

"Oh hells bells" He shouted

"Patrick I told you I'll do that"

"No no you're busy ... Mending your dress" He said in a sarcastic voice

This made Shelagh angry "It is not a dress it is my uniform and I'm not mending it I'm letting it out at the seams so I can look cool, calm, collected and professional during the inspection.

They were staring into each other's eyes when they both just laughed realising they were arguing over nothing.

Patrick outstretched his arm towards his wife and she got up and went and sat on his knee putting her arm around his shoulder and him putting his arm around her waist.

"We could try being cool, calm, collected and professional now really"

"Yes we could but I'm not convinced that it would speed up my mending or your typing" She let out a sigh

"We'll pull through … We always do" He said looking lovingly into her eyes.

He leaned in kissing her forehead and moved his hand round so that it was resting on her bump.

"Anyway we have this little miracle to look forward to" Patrick said rubbing his hand over her belly

She placed her hand over the top of his "I know this will make everything worth it"

The next day all things were go as they waited for the man from the Board of Health to arrive. The Maternity home was busy as always and Shelagh was rushed of her feet. She had been having some light cramping but didn't want to worry Patrick, especially since Mr Greenwood from the Board of Health had arrived, so she just carried on with her day. Everything had been totally forgotten about during the emergency and they were just focusing on mother and child. It wasn't until they had got them into the ambulance and the ambulance pulled away that Shelagh realised the pains were getting worse.

Shelagh took herself off to the smallest room. She knew there was something wrong. As soon as she saw the blood on her knickers the tears started falling freely and she began to panic. Being a Midwife she had seen this happen time and time again so she knew what was happening.

She pulled herself together the best she could and went straight to the phone to ring Nonnatus House.

Nurse Crane answered the phone.

"Hi Nurse Crane it's Shelagh I need to get to St Cuthbert's … Could you please give me a lift?" Her voice was very shaky

"Off course I'll be right over"

Patrick had just popped back to his office to get something when he saw Shelagh.

"Shelagh, sweetheart what is the matter?"

"Patrick, Patrick" Her voice shaking as she started to cry again

"Take deep breaths for me darling and tell me what's wrong"

"I'm bleeding" Patrick instantly new what she meant. It was always a possibility when there had been such damage to her reproductive organs. It still didn't make things any easier.

He took hold of her hand and gave it a light squeeze "Right we'll go to St Cuthbert's now and we'll get this sorted"

"Patrick you can't we've got the inspection, Nurse Crane is going to take me"

Just then Nurse Crane walked in.

"Shelagh, right now nothing is more important than you and our baby … Nurse Crane can hold the fort" He said looking over to Nurse Crane

"Off course I can Dr Turner … Off you go everything will be fine here"

They made their way out of the door. Patrick put his arm around Shelagh's waist to help her to the car, she couldn't stop shaking.

The journey was silent. Patrick didn't know what to do. All his years of medical practice in obstetrics could not have prepared him for this.

Shelagh had her fists clenched on her lap. Patrick took his hand off the wheel and placed it on top of hers. He looked over to her with a worrying look on his face. He had always admired his wife's faith, but never really had one himself but right now all he could do was pray that everything was going to be alright.

Patrick pulled into a parking space and turned off the engine.

They were in silence just holding hands.

"Patrick I'm scared"

He turned to her and placed his fingers from his right hand under her chin gently lifting her head up to look at him.

"Hey … I am not going to leave you … I will do everything I can to make this better"

He got out of the car and went straight round to help his wife out before locking the door. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead.

She felt so safe and protected in his arms.

As soon as they got into St Cuthbert's Shelagh was taken away and they started running tests and carrying out checks.

Patrick was sent into an empty room to wait. This was the last thing he needed, to be sat alone with just his thoughts to keep him company. His heart was breaking seeing Shelagh so upset.

A little while later Shelagh was put onto the ward and Patrick could go and see her. When he went in he saw his poor Shelagh sat in the bed, she looked so small and fragile.

The doctor was stood by Shelagh's bed telling her they were going to run some more tests. The doctor then made his way over to Patrick.

"You did the right thing bringing your wife in … We're going to admit her … The bleeding has stopped for now but even with complete bed rest she may still abort spontaneously … You do know that don't you"

"Y-yes I'm a doctor"

"It never makes it any easier when family are concerned" The doctor said placing a comforting hand on Patrick's arm

"No it doesn't, but thank you doctor for what you've done"

The doctor walked off to see his next patient and Patrick turned to look at Shelagh. She was just cradling her bump with tears in her eyes. All he wanted to do was make everything better for her.

He walked over to her and sat on the chair by her bedside and placed his hand around hers resting on her small bump.

"I'm so sorry" She cried

"My darling you have nothing be sorry for"

"I have failed you"

"Shelagh, don't talk like that … We were happy before and we will be happy again no matter what happens"

Patrick got on the bed beside her and pulled her into his chest as she quietly sobbed.

"I love you so much Shelagh … We will get through this I promise"

She lifted her head up and looked into his eyes. "I love you Patrick"


	2. Chapter 2

**I decided to go a little off the Storyline. I hope you like it!**

Days had passed and although Shelagh had had no more bleeding it was crucial that she was still on complete bed rest because it was still possible for something to go wrong.

The hospital she was staying in had continued to carry out tests but they had yet to find out the cause of the bleeding so it was just assumed that it was the beginning of a miscarriage. However, Patrick had other ideas.

Each night when she sent him home Patrick would just sit an think over everything and think of any other things which could cause the bleeding. Last night it suddenly hit him, the bleeding might not have been related to what they first thought.

Arriving at St Cuthbert's the next day he went straight to see Shelagh's doctor before he went in to see her.

"Hello Doctor, thanks for taking time to speak with me"

"No problem Dr Turner … Now what is it you wanted to talk to me about"

"After doing some reading last night I have found there is potentially something else which may be causing the bleeding"

"What are you saying Dr Turner"

"I'm saying that my Wife has already beaten the odds in conceiving a child which was something that was very unlikely to happen because she had a great deal of scarring in her pelvic organs"

"Yes which means she is at a very high risk of miscarriage"

"That is true Doctor … We don't really have a lot of experience with cases like my wife, but I believe that the cause of the bleeding could potentially be from the scarring. As it is so rare for a woman to get pregnant after such damage to their pelvic organs none of us really know how carrying a child will affect what was left behind"

"So are you thinking that some of the scarring in your Wife's womb may have ruptured and that is what caused the bleeding"

"Yes I think it is certainly a possibility but there is no way to actually see unless you do an ultrasound an that isn't possible yet"

"Oh Dr Turner see that is where you are wrong"

"What do you mean?"

"Well as you know over the last few years ultrasound technology has been developed"

"Oh yes by Ian Donald … I remember reading that in the Lancet"

"As we are in the capital we have been given an ultrasound machine which is kept at The London … It is only used in certain cases because we couldn't cope with the whole of London trying to use it and also we are still developing it to make it better … However, as your Wife is quite a complex and complicated case we will offer you and ultrasound so we will be able to see the baby in utero and we will also be able to have a look at the scarring an see if we can work out where the blood came from and also hear your baby's heartbeat"

"Thank you that would be great but is it safe for my Wife and baby?"

"Yes there will be no harm to your wife or to the baby … The only thing is that she will need to have a full bladder so that it is clear enough for us to see"

"Ahh great … That'll be no problem … Thanks Doctor"

"No thank you Dr Turner for bringing the potential diagnosis to my attention … While you go and see your wife I will ring the London and arrange an appointment for her as soon as possible an then I will come and speak to you both"

Patrick stood up from his chair, thanking the doctor again before walking out of the office and making his way down the corridor to the ward to see his Wife.

When he walked in she was just sat staring into space with her hands still placed on her bump.

He was hoping that what he was about to tell her would give her more hope.

"Shelagh darling … How are you feeling?"

"Patrick" She reached out and found his hand "I'm feeling okay, I've had no more cramping or bleeding"

"That's good"

She let out a weak smile.

"I've been talking to your doctor and I have something to tell you"

"What is it Patrick?" She said looking really worried

"Don't look worried sweetie … I've been doing some research over the last few days and I think I've found another cause for your bleeding … A simple explanation would be that some of the scarring in your uterus has ruptured and that is what has caused the bleeding"

"Could that be possible?"

"I don't know but we're going to test for it"

"Oh okay how are they going to do that though?"

"You know the new ultrasound technology they've been working on in Scotland?"

"Yeah"

"Well I've spoken to your doctor and they have one at the London and because you are quite special they are going to give you an ultrasound so we will be able to see our baby and they can also see what damage there is too the scarring in your uterus"

"Wow … Can they really do that?"

"Yeah … The doctor is just on the phone making you an appointment now"

It wasn't long before the doctor came in to speak to them.

"Mrs Turner, I believe your husband has caught you up to speed on everything"

"Yes he has"

"Well I have just spoken to the London and you have an appointment with the doctor in charge of the ultrasound machine at 10 o'clock is that alright with you both"

Shelagh looked up to Patrick she knew he was busy.

"Patrick I know you're busy I don't mind going on my own"

"Shelagh I wouldn't miss seeing our baby for the world … I'll just push my rounds back till the afternoon"

Patrick reached out for her hand and held squeezed it gently.

"Dr Turner if you could meet us here tomorrow about 9 O'clock then you and your wife will be taken over to the London in an ambulance ready for 10 O'clock"

"Can Patrick not just take me in the car?"

"I'm afraid not Mrs Turner not until we know for sure what is causing your bleeding"

The doctor walked of and left them alone together.

The next day Patrick arrived at St Cuthbert's promptly at 8:30. For once he was actually early.

When Patrick walked onto the ward Shelagh was shocked to see him so early.

"Morning dear … You know you didn't have to be here till 9"

"I know sweetheart but for once in my life I didn't want to be late … I wouldn't miss seeing our baby for the first time"

"I love you Patrick"

"I love you too Shelagh"

They had been sat chatting for nearly half an hour when the porter came to collect Shelagh to take her to the ambulance.

The London was only a short drive away so it didn't take them to long to get there.

The were taken to a room where the ultrasound machine was kept and Shelagh was helped on to the bed by Patrick.

It wasn't long before the doctor came in and explained what he was going to do before running through a couple of admin bits.

"Mrs turner could you tell me who your GP is please, I don't seem to have it on file"

That was when Patrick spoke up.

"I'm her GP"

"Oh sorry I didn't realise, you're thee Dr Turner"

"Yeah I am"

"You are such a legend round here"

Patrick seemed really shocked by it all whilst Shelagh just sat smiling.

"Well I never knew that"

The doctor had finished getting everything ready and was starting to explain what he was doing to the Turner's.

"Right will I'm just gonna pull the sheets up and if you could pull your nightie up above your abdomen"

Shelagh did just that. She was shaking a little she was so scared.

"I'm going to pop some gel on your tummy and then use this probe to find the baby … Sorry but the gel will be a little cold"

Shelagh reached out for Patrick's hand and he firmly put his hand in hers.

The doctor started moving the probe around her abdomen when he stopped.

"If you look up onto the screen there, there's your beautiful healthy little baby"

Shelagh instantly started tearing up squeezing her husband's hand tighter and Patrick was completely transfixed he couldn't take his eyes of the screen.

"Are you sure everything's is okay?"

"Yes everything seems to be fine and the baby had a strong heartbeat which you can hear"

"Can you see what is causing the bleeding?" Patrick asked

The Doctor moved the probe further around Shelagh sat abdomen and he could see the scarring in her uterus. Then he stopped.

"I think I've found what was causing the bleeding"

Patrick looked up from his wife to the screen and saw exactly what the doctor was meaning.

"Exactly what I thought "

"What what?" Shelagh said anxiously

"It seems Mrs Turner that some of the scarring in the lower part of your uterus has ruptured as a result of the pressure"

"Is it going to hurt my baby?"

"It shouldn't have a big impact at all, it means that your body is finding pregnancy a little more difficult than most as a result of the TB"

"Will I be able to go home"

"I don't see why not … Now that we know what is causing the bleeding we can give you extra checkups every week to make sure that there is no change but there is no reason why you can't go on to have a normal pregnancy and delivery"

"Thank you doctor"

"You must promise though to take it easy otherwise it could rupture the scarring higher up in your uterus"

"I promise"

"Right well I'll get someone to take you back to the ambulance to take you back to St Cuthbert's then they will sort out your discharge papers from there"

"Thanks doctor" They both said together

"Oh while I remember you will get a letter in the post with regards to your next ultrasound appointment"

"Okay thank you"

They were now in the ambulance on the way back to St Cuthbert's. Shelagh was feeling a lot more relaxed now that she knows it wasn't the start of a miscarriage.

Shelagh looked up into Patrick's eyes.

"I love you Patrick"

"I love you too darling"

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